Ripple Effect
by Cyhyr
Summary: It's been happening for a while now. Loki thought it was just a fetish Tony had, one that he went into knowing it was going to hurt. But then the two-month point passes, and this is becoming ridiculous. He decides to try and talk Tony out of it, but then finds out the truth. Now he has to stop it. He has to stop it before it starts to affect him. AU-College, Steve/Tony, Loki/Tony


Ripple Effect

Sophomore, spring semester, _not living on campus_. Even though he had to split the apartment with his older brother, Loki knew he had it good. He was going through the latest chapter for Geology (taken as his science elective) and listening to Thor talk to his girlfriend in the kitchen while he sat on the couch in the living room. As insufferable as Thor could get, he respected that Loki desired his own space, and gave him plenty of time to come around to the idea of sharing an apartment.

Honestly, the option was either split the apartment, or live in the dorms again. After freshman year and last semester stuck in the dorms, Loki would take living in a communal with all of Thor's _friends_ over going back into the dorms.

Okay, maybe he wouldn't go _that_ far.

But almost all of Thor's friends lived within a two-minute walk, and because their apartment was the biggest, they were over all the time, anyway. After the first few weeks, Loki had come to terms with the idea that privacy would only be attained by retreating into his room, but all of Thor's friends understood not to bother him if he went in there. They certainly had become tolerable over time.

He looked up to check the time, and sighed. Five minutes to midnight, and it was a Saturday. For the last two months, he'd been taking in a visitor, and honestly, he couldn't say no to him. Not after the first time he'd stumbled through the door, clearly drunk and asking for his brother. But what bothered Loki- and the main reason why he couldn't turn the recurring visitor away- was the changing injuries the man retained each time he visited. The first two times, he had insisted on seeing Thor, but Loki wouldn't hear of it until he was patched up and then, he didn't want to bother Thor. Now, he comes specifically looking for Loki, and Loki's made sure that he's always available.

He tried to focus on his geology text for a few more minutes, knowing that as soon as he gets here, his study time will be over. But a few minutes turned into ten, which turned into fifteen, and Loki suddenly started to worry. He was _never_ late. It's always been midnight. But, then he heard Thor still talking to Jane in the kitchen, and realized that he was probably waiting for Thor to turn in. There was no way he'd let Loki bandage him up like normal if Thor was available to watch. Not anymore.

Loki worried his bottom lip with his fingers. How was he going to get Thor to bed, or at least _into _his bedroom? _Think, Loki, think…_

Tomorrow was Sunday. He and Jane always went out for brunch on Sundays.

Loki went into the kitchen and stood against the doorframe for a moment, and then cleared his throat. Thor looked up and smiled, then said, "Jane, if you would, my brother would speak with me."

Having Thor's attention, he said, "I know you've been quiet, and I thank you for letting me get this far, but this next chapter is quite testing. You'll see her tomorrow, if you don't mind. I need the silence."

Thor nodded, and said his good-byes to Jane before hanging up. Loki went back to the couch while Thor bade him goodnight and happy studying. Loki waved him off and waited for Thor's bedroom door to close. Only another ten minutes and his brother would be asleep.

12:15. He could wait another ten minutes… right?

The soft tapping on the door came at 12:18, and Loki knew Thor would not be asleep, but he stood and went to open it anyway.

Anthony Stark was only a few inches shorter than he, but with his back against the wall next to their door, shades over his eyes, and him gripping his stomach in obvious pain, he looked much shorter. He had short, dark brown hair and an ever-present smirk. Tonight, he wore a fitted grey button-down over dark jeans.

Loki quickly pulled one of Tony's arms over his shoulder and led him inside.

He sat Tony down in the living room (specifically, the farthest seat from Thor's room), and spoke quietly, "Thor just turned in. Do not give him reason to get up."

Tony gave an airy chuckle. "I don't want him to see me like this, especially now that it's been going on for so long. He'll just blame himself for not knowing."

Loki left him to fetch his first aid kit from the bathroom. He checked its contents quickly before deciding that he'd have to refill it soon- if Thor ever noticed how depleted it was, he stage an unnecessary intervention for Loki and _that_ was an experience Loki could go without. New rolls of gauze, some more anti-septic, and he'd have to restock their supply of aspirin soon. He made a stop in the kitchen to grab an ice pack and a dishtowel, and then returned to his patient on the couch.

For two months, Tony Stark had been showing up at his door, bleeding and bruised, and not once had Loki questioned it. But, as he handed the ice pack to Tony for him to set on his stomach while he worked on his cut knuckles, Loki couldn't help himself. "What happened?"

Tony shook his head. "Nothing that hasn't happened before."

Loki tightened his grip around Tony's hand slightly. "Then tell me what happened before," he said.

"It's really… you know, right? How it is? If you flirt with someone else while you're already taken, all hurt parties get a swing," Tony explained.

Loki caught Tony's eye. "I can't say I know at all, actually. I've never actively flirted with anyone I didn't know was single." He gave Tony a smirk he knew Tony needed and went back to dabbing the anti-septic ointment on the open cuts. "I assume, this time, you actually fought back?"

"Well, the guy's beefy, and he was mad enough that if I hadn't tried to get a few punches in, I'd be in worse shape than I am."

Loki hummed as he started to wrap Tony's hand in gauze. "Boyfriends can get strangely possessive," he murmured thoughtfully.

Tony groaned. It sounded affirmative, almost.

Loki finished with the left hand and started on the right. "You know it'll happen. And yet, every week, the same?"

"I can't help if I'm a flirt. It's in my nature," Tony said as he shifted the ice pack so it was on a different spot of his stomach.

"You'd think you'd start to flirt with someone who _doesn't_ have a boyfriend behind her, though," Loki said, fishing for an explanation.

Tony stays silent. Nope, Loki just crossed some line that Tony didn't want to bridge yet. But, Loki understood what he _didn't_ say. He finished wrapping Tony's right hand and then put everything back in the box, and then brought it back to the bathroom. He grabbed two aspirin, and on his way, a glass of water, and gave them to Tony to swallow.

They sat in the quiet while Tony finished the water, and then Loki noticed the light hickey on his collarbone. He'd been suspicious for some time, now, and Thor had mentioned just a few days ago about Tony and "his boyfriend." Loki decided to test the waters.

"Is he at least a gentleman in every other aspect?"

Tony glowers at him, but looks away as a faint smile appears in his eyes. "Yes."

"Just terribly possessive?"

"He keeps saying he knew what he was getting into when he asked me out."

"Then, why?"

Tony didn't answer. Loki didn't ask again. He had tossed enough rocks, and when he did talk again, it was to ask if Tony needed a ride home. Tony shook his head. "I live two houses down. I think I can make it," he said.

Loki nodded. "Return the ice pack later," he said. He stood up and offered a hand to Tony, who waved it off.

"I was only punched in the stomach, and only once. I can stand up on my own."

He did.

Loki walked with him to the door anyway, and then stopped him before he left. "Your phone. Let me give you my number, so you can tell me when you're here without alerting my brother."

Tony's smirk grew. "You worried about me tonight?"

Loki didn't answer, but Tony pulled out his phone and programmed Loki's number in. Then, he lifted his phone and said, "Smile!" and caught Loki off guard for a photo. He chuckled to himself, "That's definitely a keeper," and after saving it, left.

After closing the door, Loki checked the time. 12:43. He groaned, turned out all of the lights, and decided that he was too tired to make it back to his bedroom. He fell asleep on the couch.

Early morning, he could almost recall Thor's deep chuckle and his brother's arms around him. He woke up in his bedroom to his phone pinging from a text.

_Thanks again, _he deciphered, and the corner of his lip twitched upward. Tony had never outwardly thanked him.

* * *

Loki was waiting again. It was almost 11:45, Thor had already turned in, and his Statistics homework had been finished an hour ago. He was reading through the next chapter to be prepared for next class and putting off the research he should be doing for a macroeconomics essay.

Or, at least, he was _trying_ to read his Statistics text. Really, he was going over the conversation he had overheard with Tony Stark and his brother earlier in the week, when Tony had dropped by to bring back the ice pack. Thor had been home, and also been the one to answer the door. Loki had not gotten there quickly enough, and had stood behind the couch while Thor and Tony greeted each other. Thor had asked what brought Tony over, and he had held up the ice pack in reply.

"Loki let me borrow it. I tripped outside your place the other day, while you were out with Jane, and after he made sure I was alright, sent me home with it," Tony had said. Loki had never before heard such a blatant lie, but Thor had nodded and smiled, accepting. He'd even asked Tony how his leg was faring; to which Tony waved him off and said he was fine.

Then, it had gotten interesting. Tony's phone had pinged for an incoming text, and he had pulled it out and read it. He chuckled and quickly sent a reply back, and Thor had asked, "Who are you texting?"

"Steve."

He had _heard_ the smile in his brother's voice. "Rogers?"

"The one and only," Tony had said, and there was this _look_ on his face.

Loki thought about it. Still-framed the memory behind his eyes and just _thought_ for a moment. Happy? No, not quite…

Dreamy?

In love?

Loki jumped a bit- his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that Tony had sent him a text. Opening it and reading it aloud a few times (honestly, was it so hard to write with full words?) he deciphered it to read that Tony was sitting on his front porch with a scotch and a cigarette, and if Loki could come over and work his magic on a sore back. Loki shook his head, but shut his textbook and tidied up a bit. He went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of naproxen, then hesitated.

_Scotch_. Tony had effectively ruined his chance of medicinal pain relief. Loki could bring over acetaminophen, but even that wasn't a good idea with alcohol in his system. He put the naproxen back and closed the medicine cabinet. He'd have to do this the hard way.

He hoped Tony had lotion at his place. This was going to get awkward.

Loki left a quick note for Thor, just in case his brother woke up, grabbed his keys, and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

The walk to the Stark/Banner apartment was one he didn't often make, but it was only two houses down. He should have brought a jacket, though. Late March was still chilly. Loki was quick to notice the relaxed posture of Tony Stark sitting on the top step of the porch, everything about the man claiming that he was absolutely fine. Loki knew better, of course, but wouldn't say anything to Tony about what was happening to him.

Mostly because Loki still wasn't absolutely positive, but also because he knew that Tony didn't want him in his business, and he knew all about not wanting people's pity.

"Hey," Tony greeted him. Loki nodded back and stood in front of him, waiting for him to finish his cigarette.

"How are you?"

Tony smirk grew a little. "I've been worse, I suppose. I don't think I'm bleeding, if that's what you're really after."

Loki scoffed a laugh, but was truly relieved. He didn't want to have to go back home for a roll of gauze. Tony held the cigarette out to him. "Want some?"

"No. If you want to kill yourself, that's fine, but I like breathing."

Tony shrugged. "We're all gonna die anyway. I'd like the option of deciding how I go."

Loki held back from saying that if he really wanted to die of lung cancer, he had to keep himself from dying due to internal damage. He bit the inside of his cheek and stuffed his hands in his pockets, thinking of a better reason that he could refuse the cigarette.

The lie came easy enough. "My Grandfather died of lung cancer. The last thing he asked for on his deathbed was another smoke. I don't ever want my brother to have to go through that again." The odds were in his favor- his statistics class had just used that scenario for a problem they'd done in class.

Tony shook his head. "Suit yourself." He took finished the cigarette, downed the rest of the scotch, and looked back at Loki.

He wasn't sure if Tony bought it or not. Tony grunted as he tried to stand up on his own, and Loki reached out to help him up. He slung Tony's arm over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around Tony's waist. Together, they walked inside, and Tony asked, "So, do you have any magic pills to get me through?"

Loki let him slip out of his grasp as soon as they were through the front door, and he shook his head. "Alcohol. There's no publically available pain reliever you can take without risking stomach bleeding."

They walked through the apartment, Tony's roommate, Bruce Banner, waved quietly from the kitchen as they passed into Tony's room. Tony didn't acknowledge him, but Loki gave a nod in his direction. "So, what'd you come over for?" Tony asked as they went into his room.

"Well, there are other methods to pain relief. I figured if you were in too much pain to stop by that you'd be willing to try just about anything," Loki said. Tony sat on his bed and looked up at him, and Loki tried to see past the smirk, to get what was going on with him tonight, but there was nothing else showing except amusement.

"What did you have in mind?"

"A massage, actually. If you had lotion, it'd be easier," Loki said, crossing his arms. He liked the idea of giving another man a massage probably as much as any other guy would want to receive one, but this _was_ Tony Stark. Loki was certain that he'd had another man's hands on _much_ more of his body than just his back.

Tony shrugged, his face turned in a slight grimace. "I actually don't have lotion, believe it or not." Then he looked straight at Loki. "Do I _have_ to take my shirt off?"

Loki shook his head. "It'd make it better, but no." He uncrossed his arms and motioned for Tony to lie down on his stomach. He ran his hands along Tony's spine, first, and then said, "I may have to reach under your shirt, if anything's particularly tight. Do you want me to warn you beforehand?"

"Please."

Loki nodded, and started to work, feeling around Tony's back and kneading lightly where the knots were. He'd back off a little if he heard a grunt or a gasp, and worked slowly. It was a little weird, giving a massage to a guy- he'd had a girlfriend, in high school, who was rather active in the school's sports, and he'd learned how to give a good massage to her through trial and error. She'd never had a problem with taking her shirt off for him, and Loki wondered idly if that was why they didn't last. Tony's shoulders were broader, his waist thicker, and he didn't make much noise; Loki's girl had been _very_ vocal about how much she loved having his hands on her.

It was actually relaxing for both parties, that it was quiet. Even when Tony did make a small grunt or gasp, it was only loud enough for Loki to hear and know what hurt.

He started to work at Tony's shoulders, but the shirt was now in the way. "Could you shrug it off a bit?"

Tony sat up for a moment, unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it down his back so his shoulders were exposed. Loki watched his face the whole time, waiting for something to slip, but it was still nothing. When Tony had lain back down, Loki went back to work, but worked lighter than he had been.

These bruises…

It looked like someone had been holding him. Loki remembered, once, his father had taken his shoulder roughly and the hold had been enough to bruise faintly. But that was when he was much younger- almost ten years, now- and his father had always been a strong man. How long did a man of average strength have to keep hold of another's shoulder for it to bruise like this?

Loki kneaded lightly around the bruises. "Rough night?"

Tony chuckled, the sound hollow. "You could say that."

Loki stopped his movements. "Are you-?"

"I like it rough. Don't _worry_ about it, alright?"

Loki shook his head. "As long as he had a good time, right?"

Tony stiffened under his hands. They were silent for a few minutes, until Tony spoke again. "I wanted it, you know. I _like it_ when he holds me down. I _always_ want it."

He kept working a particularly tight knot. Loki didn't want to hear this, didn't want to hear Tony's justifications for what happened to him earlier tonight, but he had to admit he was curious. So, he quietly made his push back. "Is that what he tells you?"

"It's not rape if I want it! I come on to _him_, you know," Tony growled.

Loki stopped his hands. "I didn't say anything about rape."

But Tony had. _Tony_ was the one that hinted it was anything other than consensual. Loki wouldn't have worried if Tony had never told him he needed not to. Loki was really good at doing things he's told not to, and worrying was no exception. He let Tony sit back up and put his shirt on.

"How's your back?"

"Fine enough. I think I'm just gonna sleep it off," Tony muttered.

Loki relaxed his shoulders. "Do you have extra pillows?" he asked.

"No, but I've got extra blankets. Thinking of staying the night?"

He shook his head. "You should make a wedge around you while you sleep. It'll keep you from moving too much and you'll avoid a stiff back when you wake up," Loki said. He picked at his lower lip, "Do you have ibuprofen?"

Tony nodded.

"Take a dose with breakfast tomorrow. I'd say to take it tonight, but you still have alcohol in your system," Loki said.

Another nod. Tony asked, "Can you show yourself out?"

Loki nodded and left with a quick, "Good night." He had almost shut the door behind him when he turned back over his shoulder. "Call me if you need me."

He got a noise of affirmation from Tony and left.

It was as he was walking out the front door that Bruce stopped him. "Hey, you're Thor Odinson's younger brother, right?"

Loki nodded. "Loki," he gave his name, and shook Bruce's hand when offered. He looked at Bruce pointedly and asked, "How long has this been going on?"

Bruce shrugged. "He and Steve started going out last semester. Sometime over winter break, would be my best guess, because it wasn't happening before finals."

He nodded once, to let Bruce know he understood. This "Steve Rogers" was most likely the type of douchebag that mothers warned their daughters about.

No one warns the son. No one _ever_ warns the son. They just try their best to raise him to not _become_ that douchebag.

Loki turned back around to leave, and Bruce caught his arm. "Hey," he said, and then dropped his arm. "Look, thanks for looking out for him. He's kind of a free spirit, you know? And he doesn't listen to anyone. Just, knowing that he can go to you… I think it means a lot to him."

He exhaled through his nose. "Yes, and it'd mean a lot to me if I didn't have be his medic every week." He stared at the ceiling. "You and my brother are friends, along with Tony, right?"

"Yeah, we get together with some other friends of ours and do pizza on Friday nights," Bruce answered.

Loki placed his elbow in his hand and touched his fingers to his mouth. He was silent for a moment, and then said, "I may see if I can join you all, then."

Bruce smiled. "Great! I think this week we're in Steve's dorm. Check with your brother, though, to be sure."

"I will."

Loki turned before he could get caught in another round of conversation. The door shut behind him, and he walked quickly back to his apartment. It was late, and he ended up crashing on the couch again.

* * *

Thor's group of friends were… eclectic, to put it. Loki had, of course, already met them all before, but he'd never taken the time to properly get to know them. Tony, obviously, and Bruce seemed to be the "normal" ones in the group. Clint Barton and Natasha Romanov had both gone to the same high school, and Natasha was majoring in sociology. Clint hadn't yet declared a major, but his advisor was determined to put him in the same major, as he had taken the exact same classes as Natasha since they started a year and a half ago. They split an apartment, finished each other's sentences, and sat with their thighs touching.

Loki made the mistake of asking if they were together. He had thought it was obvious.

Thor kept next to his side for most of the evening. Sometimes, Jane would hang out with them, but tonight she was working with her lab partner to catch up on a lab they'd missed earlier in the week. Loki was okay with this; Jane didn't ever seem at ease around him, anyway.

The main event of the night, though, was that Loki finally met Steve Rogers. The man was fit and blond, had clear skin, and always had some sort of smile on his face- he even had a disapproving smile in his arsenal, which Loki saw turned on Tony when Tony decided to stuff half a slice of pizza in his mouth. He could, absolutely, see what Tony saw in Steve; even by his standards, Steve Rogers was handsome. Loki kept an eye on the two of them the entire evening, and it almost looked like nothing happened. If he hadn't been watching for it, Loki was sure he would have missed it.

Clint was telling the group about something his and Natasha's psychology professor had done earlier in the week. Natasha interrupted him occasionally when he started to stumble over his words or if he said something inaccurate. Tony was closely tucked against Steve's side, with Steve's arm around his shoulders. Loki (unfortunately) was in a similar position with Thor, but with _much _more space between them. Also, Steve and Tony were on the bed; Thor and Loki were leaned up against the desk. Bruce was sitting near Loki, in the chair, and Clint and Natasha were telling their story from the floor.

Clint started to get very animated with his story, and suddenly clapped his hands together loudly. "Slammed his books down on the desk and told the kid to get the hell out of his classroom! I'll bet that close-minded shithead's withdrawn from the class by now," he said. Loki watched as everyone else in the room had jumped a little at the clap, but it was Tony's reaction that was the highlight of the story, at least for Loki.

He'd jumped, like the rest of them, even joined in the easy laughter afterwards, but then his face started _twitching_, very slightly. He started blinking more frequently, like he wanted to just shut them. Loki said nothing, simply observed.

But _Steve_ spoke up. "You alright?" Loki heard him whisper. Bruce had started telling a story of his own, and Loki leaned slightly against Thor's shoulder so he could properly turn himself toward the new storyteller. He had to make it _look_ like he wasn't eavesdropping.

"Just getting tired," Tony murmured back.

"You want me to kick them out?" Loki watched, from a sideways glance, and Steve's bicep flexed around Tony's shoulders.

Tony and he ended up making eye contact, and Loki gave him a scowl and turned back to Bruce, leaving them to talk without listening.

"He keeps going on and on about wolves. You can get him off-topic so easy just by mentioning them!"

Thor and Clint laughed. Loki missed most of the story, but smiled anyway. After the laughter died down, Steve spoke up. "It's almost midnight, guys. I'm started to get tired."

"Kicking us out early, again?" Clint said. Natasha handed him the crust of her last slice.

Steve smiled, one of those weird smiles that wasn't really because he was happy. "I've got track practice tomorrow, and a standing date with Tony," he said, and turned his smile down at his boyfriend. Loki noticed; _that_ was a real smile. He seemed properly happy to be thinking about going out tomorrow night. Tony looked up at his name, and Loki was sure, absolutely, that _his _smile was forced. Tony's fingers twitched at his side, and Loki wondered if they were going to kiss or not.

Clint made a gagging sound until Natasha elbowed him in the side. He was smiling the whole time, and Loki felt Thor rumble with a chuckle. Bruce stood up, giving a hand to Clint, who in turn, helped Natasha. Thor made to help Loki up, but he waved the hand away. They stood, waiting for a moment. Bruce was the last to leave, and Loki stood outside the door as he asked, "Will you be home tonight?" to Tony.

Loki couldn't make out the answer, but the clenched fist showed that Bruce (though expecting it) was not happy. Bruce said a quick "good-night" to Steve and Tony, and then shut the door. Loki caught Bruce's eye, sighed, and turned after his brother. Loki decided to be ready for anything, come tomorrow night. Hell, he _should_ be ready for an appearance in the morning.

* * *

He was tucked in a corner of a booth at one of the dining halls, reading through the master schedule for next semester. Loki was putting together a tentative schedule to discuss with his advisor when he heard talking in the booth behind him.

"Look, it's been happening for over two months, at least, and none of us has done anything yet." Natasha- Loki assumed Clint was with her, because he always was, and wondered who else might be on the other side of the bench. There was no way they would have seen Loki on their way in- he specifically picked the booth he was in, just in case Thor ever came looking for him.

"If he couldn't handle it, he'd tell us," Clint said.

"You're thinking like a woman, Natasha." Ah, the other was Bruce.

"I _am_ a woman."

"Irrelevant. You hang out with men, you've got to think like one," Clint said. Loki, silently, agreed.

She hissed. "If Steve were doing this to a woman, he wouldn't have gotten a second chance. _Both_ of you would have stepped in and stopped it, right?"

Loki could imagine both Bruce and Clint nodding their heads sheepishly.

"Then what's so different about Tony that no one's willing to help him?"

"Too little on top, too much down low," Clint said. Loki heard silverware _clang_ together. "Hey, hey! Hear me out! Tony's a big boy. Yes, he'd got pride, and it'd be hard for him to accept help, but he's already making progress, right?" Clint seemed to be trying to justify their inaction, but Loki didn't quite understand. Tony seemed to be going _backward_, further into a terrible relationship.

"Clint's right, Natasha," Bruce said. "He's been going to Loki for the past two months. That's got to be something, right?"

Loki shut his eyes. He hadn't realized how deeply he was involved in this situation until now.

"It's bullshit that Tony would go to him and not to one of us, though," Natasha said. Loki bit the inside of his cheek, but understood why she would feel that way. He and Tony weren't even friends.

"Not if he was trying to go to Thor, first," Bruce said. "You guys are forgetting that, from campus, Tony would pass Thor's apartment first. If Thor wasn't home, Loki would have opened the door."

"Yeah, but why would Tony keep going back?" Clint asked.

Loki heard Bruce make a shushing sound, and then Natasha started talking about a lab they shared on Wednesday morning. Loki went back to his schedule with a shrug, wondering why they just stopped talking.

"Dude! What happened to your wrists?" Loki perked up a little at Clint's exclamation.

"Hi, how are you, Clint? It's nice to see you, too." Loki smirked; of course, Tony. This was the best dining hall on campus, one that their group of friends frequented.

"Seriously, though," Clint continued, "What happened?"

Loki heard Tony settle down on the other side of the bench. Oh, how he'd love to be able to see Tony's face as he tried to lie to them. Or, maybe, he'd finally admit the truth, and stumble over excuses for what happened and why.

Tony sighed. "We've been over this. Bondage, man, you've _got_ to try it." Loki had a feeling that Tony was smiling, but it wasn't in his voice.

"It looks like he left you tied up all night," Natasha said. Loki tried to imagine what that would look like. Tony's wrists, pale on the underside, ripped apart. They might not be bloody anymore, but they would be angry red, with blotches of skin missing. Loki shivered. Steve seemed like a good guy- didn't they have a safe word?

"We went at it _all night_," Tony said. Loki could hear the pride in his voice, but had to doubt his words. Steve was far too good a student to have stayed up even most of the night- depending on the state of his wrists, Tony had been left to sleep tied up. Loki was sure of it.

The other three behind him must have shared the same idea. "You really want us to believe that _Steve_, Mr. Four-Point-Oh, stayed up all night doing the nasty with you, and then went to class this morning?" Bruce asked.

The table was silent, and Loki waited. This was probably the closest he'd heard any of them question Tony's relationship, and he wondered how Tony was going to take it. There was a quiet shuffle of trays and dinnerware.

"Where are you going?" Natasha asked.

"Thor's. He doesn't judge my relationship," Tony said.

"I heard, 'my wrists are killing me, so I'm going to Thor's place to see if Loki's there and get him to work his magic on them,'" Clint said. Loki stared at the booklet, waiting for a response. Was he really that integrated in their group?

"You need to get your hearing checked, Barton. _If_ Loki's there, we'll be politely ignoring each other, as always," Tony said, and Loki watched from the corner of his eye as Tony left the dining hall.

Loki started to wonder if their worrying was making it worse.

* * *

Loki asked around and smiled a lot and finally met Virginia Potts- everyone called her Pepper. She was in a work-study position at the school registrar, and Loki determined over a day and a half of social research that she would be most likely to help him. He sat down next to her desk and turned the charm on to "subtle".

"What can I do for you, Loki?"

"I need a copy of a schedule."

Pepper cocked her head at him and smiled. "I notice you're omitting the 'my' in that sentence," she said.

"It has no purpose in the sentence. I assure you, Miss Potts-"

"Pepper, please."

"My apologies, Pepper. I assure you, I know my own schedule."

She leaned back a little in her chair. "You know I can't print you copies of other student's schedules," she said. It wasn't a question.

"I know you'd want to if I told you what I needed them for." Loki was certain- he'd done his research.

"And, to what purpose would you need other schedules?"

Loki leaned forward in his chair. "Tony Stark's protection."

Pepper gave him a hard stare. She was trying to see if he was lying, Loki could tell, but no sign would be there- he knew what he was doing and he knew how to do it. The right words at the right time, and Pepper would give him what he needed. Besides, he wasn't lying.

She looked around and confirmed that they were the only ones in the registrar, and she put the "back in 5 minutes" sign on the window after closing it.

Loki turned back to watch as she pulled herself together, then sat back down. "What do you know about Tony?" she asked.

Loki leaned back in his chair. "I know that once a week he shows up at my doorstep, needing to be patched up. I know that, on that same night every week, he goes out with Steve Rogers. I know that if no one does anything, if no one steps up and helps him, he'll end up in a hospital." Loki paused to let it sink in, and then finished, "I know that almost two weeks ago, Tony and Steve had sex, but what I _don't_ know is if it was completely consensual on Tony's part."

That's what did it. Pepper gasped quietly, and then asked whose schedules he needed. After getting those of Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Steve, and Tony, Pepper also printed out her own, filled in her work schedule, and then printed schedules for Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis. Both of the girls were taking a lot of the same classes as Tony and seemed to be friends with him.

Pepper also gave Loki her phone number. "If you ever need anything, I'll help you out," she said. Loki assured her they'd be in touch, thanked her, and left.

He knew this was going against everything Tony wanted, but at some point between three weeks ago and twenty minutes ago, Loki stopped caring. Tony wasn't going to tell Steve to stop, but neither was Loki. He'd just make sure the time they had together was always shared with someone else.

Between Thor, Jane, Darcy, Pepper, Clint, Natasha, and Bruce, Tony was never alone anymore- not while his alone time matched up with Steve's.

He'd gotten Thor into thinking to turn his and Jane's Sunday date into a double date. Bruce had stated that Steve was more than welcome to spend the Saturday date at their apartment- Loki had simply asked Bruce why he always spent Saturdays alone. Between the seven of them, he'd figured out someone to be with Tony every day- then, he asked each of them what they did during those times, then later in the conversation, began wondering aloud what Tony was doing.

It was so simple, like everyone had wanted to do something like this, but never had. During a Thursday lunch break- Tony had class, after which he would meet Pepper- Natasha and Clint sat next to him. Natasha, obviously, was the first to notice. "It's odd, don't you think, Loki? How, over the past week, we've all adapted our schedules to fit Tony and Steve in?" she asked.

Clint leaned forward. "You didn't have anything to do with this, right?"

Loki looked between them and smirked. "I agree it's odd, but I've nothing to do with it. I only visit on Friday nights," he said. He took a sip of his soup and glanced up at both of them. It was true, though, that he only saw Tony on Friday nights- _his_ schedule had remained unchanged. He could tell they didn't believe him, but he wasn't going to admit this to anyone.

But Natasha was already onto him. "I heard you and Tony got together on Saturday nights for over two months," she said, her eyes calm and not saying anything else. "Is that still happening?" Clint, also, was watching Loki intently.

He set his mug down and shut the book he'd been reading. Loki leaned over the table and murmured, "I didn't see him this past Saturday, and I know you both understand that it's a good thing."

Clint cocked his head to the side, and Natasha smiled. She grabbed Clint's arm and said, "Good. I was wondering when someone would notice. No one would _listen_ to me."

She pulled Clint over to the line and left Loki alone. He tried to get back to his book, but all he could think about was Tony and how long Steve had been…

He put his book back in his bag and left the dining hall. He had Geology in fifteen minutes, but the lecture hall was always unlocked.

Friday night, they met up at Tony and Bruce's apartment for the pizza party. Here, there was a couch and a recliner, and a TV. They decided on a movie, but it ended up being only background noise while they talked. Tony and Steve were on one side of the couch- this time, Steve was slouched enough to let Tony put his arm around Steve's shoulders. Clint and Natasha mirrored Steve and Tony; Bruce had taken the chair, which left the floor to Thor, Jane, and Loki. Loki was eternally grateful that Jane had been able to come, because his brother didn't annoy him as much when he was distracted.

It had been Steve who had brought it up, first. "I feel like I saw more of you guys in the last week than I had all semester," he said. Loki held his breath. Steve wasn't supposed to notice. "It's been nice. I didn't realize how much I missed hanging out all the time until we were doing it again. You all moved off-campus, and I didn't notice that I missed you guys so much."

Loki slowly exhaled. Steve didn't think it was anything other than a revival of their friendship. Natasha caught his eye quickly, smiled, and then turned back to the conversation, which had continued among the others.

"I wish I had a little more private time," Tony said, looking quickly between Bruce and Loki. "You're all great, but I need a little more space than Steve." Loki smirked quickly- of course Tony was going to catch on fast.

Steve just patted his leg. "They're just being friendly, Tony."

Loki watched Tony's lips twitch just a bit at Steve's hand on his lap. Then, Tony grumbled, "Cockblocks, the lot of you."

Everyone laughed. Clint started the story telling again, and Loki paid enough attention to make sure Tony stopped glaring at him. He ended up engrossed in Clint's story and looked up again to see the corner of the couch empty where Tony and Steve had previously been. Loki slowly stood up and headed toward the kitchen for a drink.

He heard the two of them in the next room- Tony's bedroom. Loki edged toward the open door and held back a gasp. Never did he ever want to walk in on them making out again. He pressed himself against the wall next to the door and continued to listen, mostly because he heard Steve start talking.

"I love you, you know," he said. Loki could imagine him saying it and then biting Tony's neck.

It may have happened because Tony groaned. "I do. And, I promise, I have no idea why they won't leave us alone," he said. Loki could hear the lie in the way he stressed his 'no idea.' It also didn't help that he said those words specifically, instead of "I don't know." Loki listened as Steve sucked on Tony's skin- Loki hoped it was his neck and not anything lower.

"I want you alone, tomorrow night," Steve said. Loki heard Tony gasp. "Can you get away for a few hours?"

"I'll try-"

"You'll do," Steve said. Loki could hear the sex and the want in his voice. It was borderline terrifying. Loki hadn't understood why Tony let Steve treat him like that, until that moment.

Fear and arousal were both flowing through Tony's system. Depending on how long this had been going on for, chances were that Tony now associated the two as the same thing.

If Steve had simply been beating him up, Tony wouldn't have taken it. Tony would have dumped him the moment it happened. Steve wasn't using pain to get what he wanted from Tony- he was using pleasure, and it worked every time. He hadn't been lying to Loki when he said he liked it rough. Loki realized that. But, Steve probably used sex as a punishment as well: he'd go much harder than Tony liked to prove a point.

Loki felt the pizza he'd eaten start to lurch inside his stomach. It wasn't staying down. He dove across the hallway, into the bathroom, and threw up.

"Loki?" Of course, Thor would be there, and he was, rubbing his back as Loki heaved.

How could he have been so blind? He'd thrown stones, and the ripples in the pool were just getting bigger. Tony's life was just as bad, if not getting worse.

The heaving stopped. Loki gasped and spat into the toilet, and a glass of water was hovering at his right side. He reached out with a shaky hand and tried to sip at it, to rinse out his mouth. Thor's hands didn't leave the glass or his back. He swished the water around and spat it out, then reached up and flushed.

He felt dizzy.

"What did you eat today?" Thor asked.

"I have graham crackers and ginger ale." Bruce said- he was standing in the doorway, and then he wasn't.

With Thor's arms around him, Loki managed to stand up. His knees were weak, and this was beyond embarrassing. He was led back into the living room and allowed to lie down on the couch; Clint and Natasha had retreated to the floor next to Jane. Loki shifted to his side and felt a hand press to his forehead, which he swatted away.

"Just because I threw up doesn't mean I'm _ill_, Thor," he grumbled.

His brother knelt in front of him and gave him a hard stare. "What did you eat today?"

Loki groaned. This was ridiculous. "Nothing, not until the pizza earlier," he said.

They all looked at the empty pizza box. Loki held back a smirk- they probably thought about food poisoning and who was going to throw up next.

"You should probably take him home," Steve said to Thor. "He'll be able to rest easier in his own bed."

Thor nodded. Loki saw doubt flicker across his brother's face, then sighed and sat up. He held his head in his hand and accepted the glass of ginger ale Bruce gave him. "No, Thor. It's only two houses down; I can walk. Besides, you have to get Jane home- her mother's birthday is tomorrow, and I'm sure all parties involved want her home," he said. He downed the rest of the glass and went to stand up.

"But-"

"Loki's right," Tony said. "Janie's gotta get home, and you're the only one with a running car- mine's in pieces." Loki caught Tony's eye and found a smile. "I'll stay with Loki, hold his hair back if he pukes again, all that jazz."

Loki heard noises of consent from everyone. "I'll wait here for you," he heard Steve say to Tony.

Thor nodded. He held Loki around his waist and bade goodbye to the rest of the group. Clint and Natasha stood up and each offered a hand to Jane. Tony walked with her outside, and took Loki from Thor when they got to the sidewalk.

Obviously, Thor protested.

"It's only two houses down," Tony said. "We'll be fine, _Loki_ will be fine. You need to get Jane home." Loki was braced against Tony's side. Tony's arm was around his waist, his arm strung over Tony's shoulders. Jane was helpful, in that she took Thor's hand and argued for them.

"If they have problems getting from here to there, Clint and Natasha live right in-between," she said, and Thor relented.

"I'll be home as soon as I can."

Loki rolled his eyes. He wouldn't be able to rest with Thor hovering, anyway.

He let Tony lead them back to his apartment.

* * *

"So, what really happened? I'm not buying food poisoning," Tony said as he helped Loki settle into his bed.

Loki shook his head. "You don't really want to know." His mouth was dry and he still had the taste of bile on the back of his tongue. His stomach grumbled like it was going to heave again, and Loki was worried he'd start dry heaving if he kept thinking about what Tony was going through.

"I'm actually very curious."

"Well, you know what that does."

"To cats. I'm sure I can take it."

Loki ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "You know why."

"But I'm not sure why it made you throw up. Is the thought of two guys making out really that disgusting to you?"

Loki glared at him. "If that were the case, I would have never helped you when you first showed up," he said.

"I didn't ask for your help," Tony said. "I had been looking for Thor."

He laughed. "You're lucky you got me, then, because Thor doesn't know the first thing about taking care of another person, especially when they're hurt." Thor would have, probably, called Loki to do something about Tony's injuries, anyway. He stared at Tony for a moment, and then said, "You wouldn't need help if you'd let him go, you know."

Tony stood up and walked over to the window. The wind ruffled his hair a bit, and Loki wondered what he was thinking about. For the first time, he couldn't read Tony at all.

"I love him, Loki," he said. "If you knew about love at all, you'd understand."

Loki groaned. "You really don't need to talk about _feelings_, Tony. I assumed you _loved_ him, or you wouldn't have put up with the shit he's done to you."

Tony's head snapped over. "I don't _put up with_ anything! Everything we do is consensual, and everything we do, I start! You don't _know-_"

"I _know_ the affect he has on you! I heard the way he spoke to you when you were making out, like he _owns you_." Loki felt his stomach start to protest the stress he was going through, and he put his hand over top of it and willed it to settle down.

"We're in a relationship. He doesn't _own_ me, and I don't own him," Tony interjected. Loki groaned- he was arguing with a wall.

"Maybe I don't understand relationships, but I'm pretty sure neither party has to take what you do from him. You let him treat you like dirt when he thinks you're alone."

"He treats me like he always has- like it's his _job_ to make me feel good," Tony's fists clenched. Loki noticed and felt the urge to back off. "I've told you before, I like it when he's rough with me. He used to be gentle, but then I told him to go harder, and now it's great and you don't understand-"

"I understand that you are trying to justify why he left you tied to the bed the other night after your activities, when you've told him you don't even like being tied down!" Okay, Loki was guessing at that last part, but he was pretty sure about it.

And, of course, Tony's face showed him that he was right. He whispered, "How did you…?"

"I'm sure you know, I've been orchestrating the intervention," Loki admitted. His stomach hadn't calmed down, but he was glad the conversation had, finally. His head was throbbing, and his eyes were starting to burn. Maybe he _was_ coming down with something…

He looked up at Tony and continued: "I listen. I watch. I'm sick of hearing your excuses for him and I'm sick of watching him tear you apart, having to put you back together, and then send you back to him. It… was better, easier, when I didn't have a name or a face to put to the one who did that to you. And then, I met Steve Rogers, as your _boyfriend_, and now I'm _trying _not to get involved with your personal life, but I can't stand back and watch him break you."

They were both silent for a brief moment, and then the front door opened and closed. Thor called out, asking if Tony was still there, but neither answered.

"Even if what you're saying was true, I'm not going to break up with him."

Loki sneered, "Then forget about our Saturday night get-togethers. If you're not going to help yourself, then I'm not going to help you."

"I never wanted your help in the first place." They've managed to keep their voices down so far, but Tony's remark was threatening to break the quiet.

"And your refusal to ask for it is putting strain on your friends. Do you not notice everyone around you becoming more and more concerned?" Loki stared him down, hoping for a reaction. He knew he was seriously rocking the metaphorical boat by confronting Tony about this, but it needed to be said. Tony needed to hear this.

He stood up from the bed, and started to pace. Loki watched as the emotions played across his face: anger, worry, pain, and frustration. He ran his hand through his hair, and stopped to look at him.

"They don't need to be concerned. Steve _loves_ me. Our sex life is no one's problem but our own."

Loki groaned and fell back on the bed. "I need to sleep. Food poisoning, remember?"

He barely heard the door shut. His stomach was grumbling again, and Loki remembered that all he had was that glass of ginger ale. Maybe he could get Thor to go out and get him some crackers, or ginger snaps…

He turned over to face the wall. Tony and Thor were talking in the living room. He could barely make out what his brother was saying, and Tony was only marginally easier to listen to. But, the rumble of his brother's voice through the walls was soothing, and he fell asleep quickly.

* * *

Five new text messages and three missed calls and a voicemail to go with each- his phone was beeping out their presence when Loki woke up. He only felt guilty for a moment, and then turned his phone off. He'd check the messages later.

He stared at the ceiling and rested his hands on his chest. At least his stomach felt better, but it still clenched whenever he remembered Steve's voice.

"_You'll do."_

Loki shut his eyes and groaned. He really didn't want to deal with this; it wasn't good for his sanity. He tried to associate the voice in his head with the face of Steve Rogers, but all he could see was his biological father pointing a gun at his face, saying the exact same thing.

He never liked his adoptive father, but he had to admit, the man had only ever been really stern with him. Nothing close to holding him at the end of a gun.

"Loki, are you awake yet?"

He opened his eyes. "No."

"I'm coming in."

"Please, don't."

The door opened. Thor had a plate with toast and eggs and a glass of water, and he smiled as he walked in. Loki scowled as best he could at Thor, but there was always something about his brother that kept him from getting too annoyed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," Loki said, and sat up. He hadn't even changed out of his clothes last night, and they were stiff and smelled like morning. Gross, but at least it was only Thor.

His brother handed him the plate and set the water on his nightstand. "Do you want to talk about what happened last night? I heard you and Tony exchanging words, and it didn't sound quite as friendly as I thought it might."

Loki took a bite of the toast and moved the eggs around his plate. Thor's heart was in the right place, but he really couldn't stand the texture of eggs this early. He kept staring at his lap and chewing on his toast, trying to think of what to say.

After a sip of water, he said, "Do you know what's going on between Steve and Tony?"

Thor sat down on the edge of his bed and leaned heavily on his knee. "I assume you're not referring to the fact that they are together," Thor muttered. "Then, about Steve being… unnecessarily rough with him?"

Loki nodded.

"I do. Tony used to call over winter break, looking for words of confirmation that Steve _wasn't_ becoming an abusive lover," Thor said. "Tony had his doubts, in the beginning, but there was just something about the way that Steve treated him that prevented him from outright leaving."

"So, three months ago, when he came looking for you, it wasn't just because he was drunk…"

Thor looked up. "He's been here?" His brows were pulled together and his lips set in a frown.

"Every Saturday night for the past… almost three months. Well, not recently, but before, it had been a pretty regular thing," Loki said. He finished his toast and downed the rest of the water before handing the plate of eggs back to Thor, who ate them. "Mother's insistence that at least one of us learn first aid has been quite useful."

The two were silent for a moment. Loki reached over and turned his phone back on. The messages and the voicemails would have to be deleted at some point, or his phone would just continually ping at him. He noted that all the messages were from Tony, and then deleted them, and then opened his voicemail.

"_Hey, Lo-"_ Deleted.

"_Okay, Loki, seri-"_ Deleted.

"_Loki plea-"_ Deleted.

"You are concerned for him," Thor said softly.

Loki glared at him. "As I would be for anyone I find to be in a similar situation," he said. He put his phone back on the nightstand and fell back onto his pillow. Thor pushed at his hip and the plate was set down on the floor. When Loki had moved closer to the wall, Thor laid down next to him.

"This is incredibly awkward," Loki muttered.

"There's no one else around to see," Thor said, and pulled Loki to his side. "You remember, I used to hold you like this when we were much younger, right?"

Loki scoffed, but relaxed against Thor's shoulder. "Like you'd _let_ _me_ forget." They were both on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Thor's arm was around Loki's shoulders.

"You'd get nightmares, often," Thor said.

He smiled softly. "And you were always there." Loki sighed. "I didn't want your help then, either. There's a difference. At least I knew what I went through, and I knew I should have had help. Tony doesn't understand that what Steve's doing is bad for him."

"Then do what you think is right," Thor said. "Your instincts have almost never been wrong, Loki."

His phone pinged for an incoming text. Thor grabbed the phone off the nightstand and handed it to Loki, who opened it without checking the sender.

_I think my shoulder is dislocated. Please help._

Loki groaned and sat up. He climbed over Thor and texted back _I'll be there soon. Avoid moving on your own. Where in the apartment are you?_ He changed his clothes quickly while the bed groaned with Thor sitting up.

The phone pinged. Loki stopped what he was doing and checked it, his shirt half over his head. _Steve's dorm room. He just left for track practice._

"Thor, can I borrow your car?" he said, looking up. He pulled his shirt the rest of the way on, and saw Thor's face drawn in worry.

"I'll go with you. I assume an extra pair of hands would help," he said, and stood up.

Loki almost said no, but then remembered that Sif was a building supervisor for Steve's dorm. She might not let Loki in to see anyone, but she definitely would let Thor in.

He made sure that the backseat was clear and then he and Thor drove to campus.

* * *

Thor helped Tony inside his apartment, and Steve almost followed dutifully, but Loki grabbed his arm and spun him around first. "We need to talk," he ground out. He watched as Steve's gaze met Thor's and Tony's, but then turned back to him. Loki walked them the two houses down, opened the door to his apartment for Steve, and motioned for him to sit.

"So, what's up?"

"Do you know how difficult it is to dislocate your own shoulder?" Loki asked. He didn't sit, but leaned against the windowsill with his arms crossed.

Steve shook his head, and Loki quickly checked his face. _Relaxed_, was the impression Loki got. His mouth was set in a neutral line, his eyes bright and focused on Loki, and he was leaned back against the couch, his hands on either side of his hips.

"Tony had a better chance of being hit by a train on his walk home," Loki said. He watched as that sunk in, the words causing a ripple of realization across Steve's face.

"You mean-"

"Do you also know, that the probability of similar events occurring after each other continually, repetitively, means that it's no longer an accident, but a planned affair?"

"Wait, what?"

"And do you understand that a relationship built on fear is one that will never work?"

"Don't go there, Lo-"

"I know what you do to him, even if you refuse to admit it!"

Steve shook his head. "I think you've got the wrong guy, Loki. I love Tony, and I would never hurt him."

Loki stared at him, and scoffed lightly. The normal tells weren't there- no overly obsessive blinking, he kept eye contact, and his lips were still parted after taking in a deep breath. Steve wasn't lying. He really believed that he didn't hurt Tony, and that led Loki to think that Steve believed that Tony's injuries were always accidental, or he didn't ever know about them.

"I could believe you," Loki said. "I could believe that the past three months have been my imagination playing tricks on me, that Tony _hasn't_ been here every Saturday night, that it was all a trick of the light and lack of sleep and helped by stress. I could believe that you are the perfect boyfriend, doing your job of loving him and supporting him and _keeping him from harm_."

"Loki-"

"But I can't. Because everyone else sees it, too. And they were all confused at first, and they were all unsure of how to approach the situation, because they didn't know if it _was_ a situation." Loki glared. "But I've watched this happen before. I watched my… someone dear to me, fall into confusion and drown in doubt until finally, it got too much and…"

Loki swallowed and gasped. _Not now, please, not now._ Memories, unbidden, were flashing behind his eyelids. He felt himself sink down to the floor, heard a voice calling his name and asking if he was all right, smelled the stale air of quiet. Loki bit his lip as the voice changed from asking if he was okay to screaming at him to run. The stale air turned metallic, and Loki's stomach lurched.

_She'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdead_.

But then it shifted and instead of _her_ splayed across the floor, it was _Tony_, and Loki felt the scream tear from his throat even if he didn't hear it.

Face down on the floor, hands reaching out for him, blood pooling around his chest.

Laufey was pointing the gun at the figure on the floor and fired two more shots. Loki was pressed back against the kitchen wall while the tiles were splattered with blood.

He may have screamed.

"_Loki!_"

There was so much blood.

"_Loki, please! Look at me!"_

He tried to help, but Tony wouldn't take it.

"_It's not real, whatever you're seeing, please come back!"_

Mom didn't take it. She said it didn't hurt, that as long as he didn't lay a hand on _Loki_, it'd be okay.

Everything was so cold.

"_Get a blanket from his room!"_

How do you treat a bullet wound? Wouldn't pressure just encourage internal bleeding?

"_You're safe now, Loki. Please come back to me."_

How could he protect him once he's dead?

"_I have you, Brother. He can't hurt you now."_

He couldn't do anything for Mom. She swore Laufey loved her, but why would you kill someone you loved?

"_I need another blanket. His chills are getting worse."_

Unless he didn't know. _Steve_ didn't know. Tony said he wasn't fragile, so Steve didn't treat him as such.

Laufey knew. Loki understood the man never wanted him, and so hated the woman who burdened him with a baby.

"_Leave. You've done far too much damage for one lifetime."_

…Thor?

"I don't even know what I did! He was yelling at me, talking about people getting hurt, and then he just trailed off and-"

"I said to leave!"

Loki's vision shifted. He was no longer in the tiny kitchen he'd lived the first six years of his life in; he was in the apartment he shared with Thor. The living room, next to the window- he was wrapped in the quilt Mother had made him when he first came to live with them.

Thor was kneeling before him, one hand beside Loki's head, and the other pointing toward the door. Loki knew there was someone else in the room, he just couldn't remember who it was.

His shoulder throbbed. He reached up to rub the pain away. His head was clearing, and he knew, this time, his hand wouldn't be bloody when he pulled back. It wasn't. It wouldn't be, again.

Laufey was locked up. He'd only seen the man once since he went to live with Odin and Frigga.

"Thor, do we have any more aspirin?" he asked. His voice barely came out as a murmur. He was hoarse and his tongue was dry; he had been screaming. Their landlord was going to be pissed if they didn't apologize to the neighbors upstairs.

He wondered if they were even home.

Thor wouldn't look at him. He and Steve were still staring each other down. Loki felt Thor's hand start to twitch beside his head, and his heart began to thud in his chest.

"Will he be all right?"

"Your concern should be with your boyfriend, not Loki." Loki couldn't remember Thor being this angry. He tried to reach up to touch his arm, to let Thor know he needed to calm down, but his fingers barely flickered when he tried to lift them.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on! I consider Loki a friend, too, and I want to know," Steve said.

"I will not tell you again," Thor seethed. "_Leave._"

"No."

Thor stood up and took one step forward, but Loki lurched after him and grabbed his leg. "Don't!"

Both Thor and Steve looked down at him. "Loki-"

"Brother, please," he whispered. He looked up at Thor, and knew he looked terrible. Depending on how bad the flashback was on the outside, his eyes were probably puffy and red (they certainly felt that way) and his face was pale. He _felt_ clammy and he was still really cold.

Thor knelt back down, and helped him up. After they were both sitting on the couch, Thor turned to Steve and glared.

"Fine. I'll leave," Steve said, and Loki heard the door open and slam shut. He flinched and Thor almost stood up again, but Loki held out a hand and stopped him. His eyes were shut, so he couldn't tell if Thor was upset with him for preventing the brawl.

They sat together, Loki with his head against Thor's shoulder, for a long time.

He hadn't had a flashback in over ten years.

* * *

"You need to stop hovering," Loki said. "I'm _fine_."

Thor shook his head and said, "It's only been two days since your flashback. I'm allowed to be concerned about a relapse."

Loki groaned and shoved his books back into his bag. He'd barely sat down for lunch when Thor walked in. He couldn't get away from his brother- Thor had gone so far as to cancel brunch with Jane so he could be with Loki yesterday. He could understand yesterday- he had still been sore then, and his pride needed a little repair. Yesterday, he needed Thor there, and was grateful that his brother spent the day with him.

Today, he was in public. He had classes. He had to put up some sort of front, especially now. He was headed for the one class he shared with one of Thor's friends- Psychology with Bruce. Today, Loki needed Thor to leave him alone.

But, when he walked away, Thor followed.

It went that way for the rest of the week. No one said anything, but he felt everyone's eyes on him. He only ever passed Tony briefly in-between classes, but the way he looked at him, Loki supposed Steve told him all about the episode he'd had.

Thor followed him around as much as his schedule allowed. Clint and Bruce gave him his space. Tony looked at him like he was an interesting puzzle.

Natasha walked at his side whenever she could. On Wednesday night, he asked her why she felt she needed to hang off of him- she had slipped her arm through his while Bruce and Clint walked ahead of them. She said, "I'm not hanging. I'm holding you up."

"I don't need-"

"I don't know what happened, and I'm pretty sure that even if I wanted to know, you wouldn't tell me," she said. "I'm just following my instincts."

Loki let her. No one said anything about it. Clint gave him wary looks the first time, but was fine with it the next day.

On Saturday, around midnight, his phone started pinging. He took one look at who had sent the text, and shook his head. He'd given in to Tony last week and it landed him in a flashback. For his own sake, Loki was going to sit this week out.

Five minutes later, it pinged again. Loki kept his eyes on the psychology textbook.

Three minutes, another ping. Loki lifted his hand to his mouth and shifted so the book was on the bed instead of on his lap. He bit at his lip and glanced over at his phone.

Another four minutes, and Loki grabbed his textbook and left his bedroom.

Thor didn't say anything when he invaded his room and sat down at the end of Thor's bed and kept reading, underlining the occasional sentence and making notes in the margin. Loki was grateful for that. They sat together and studied.

When he reached the end of the chapter, Loki checked the time. 1:15. If Tony had been standing outside before, he must have left by now. He closed his book, said good night to his brother, and went back to his room.

The phone was flashing, still on the nightstand. It pinged again, and Loki gave in and checked this one.

_I hate you._

Loki threw the phone at the wall. He'd check if it broke in the morning.

He pulled his shirt off and stepped out of his jeans, and then fell onto his pillow. Sleep came quickly.

* * *

Loki was dragged along with Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, and Jane to see a movie, the following Friday. Steve and Tony were celebrating a six-month anniversary, so pizza and chatting was put off for the night. Loki almost fell asleep during the movie, because finals were getting so close and his workload was getting excessive. Natasha kept him awake with light prodding every ten minutes, and when the credits were rolling, he leaned heavily against Thor for the first three minutes of the walk home.

"Natasha, do you think you could do that?" Clint asked. He was walking backwards and talking about the movie. Loki smiled faintly.

"What? Kill a guy with my thighs?"

"What a way to go," Bruce muttered.

"I could probably knock someone out like that, but I take _self-defense_. The stuff I know isn't supposed to be used for killing someone, though I suppose that if I held on long and tight enough, and then jerked my hips to the side, I could probably break their neck," she said. She looked like she almost wanted to try it.

Loki took a small step away from her.

On the way back to the string of apartments, Bruce invited everyone in to keep chatting. Jane was the only one who turned it down, reasoning that she had a study group for her physics class in the morning. Thor offered to walk her back to her dorm, but she waved him off. "You worry too much, and don't nearly get as much 'guy time' as you should," she said, and let him kiss her quickly.

Thor then asked Loki if he wanted to go home, but Bruce waved it away, saying that if he got tired, everyone could crash in the living room. Tony had made sure they had the comfiest couch he could get. Loki sighed and followed everyone onto the porch. Clint and Natasha were waiting by the door for Bruce to unlock it, but when he went to do so, it was already unlocked.

Clint and Thor pushed the other three back and led the way into the apartment. "Stay out here, until we know it's clear," Clint said, and went in.

They were only inside for a moment when Thor's voice came, almost panicked. "Loki!" He didn't think twice, and went in after his brother. "Kitchen!" Loki walked briskly towards Thor's voice, and pushed Clint out of the doorway so he could get through.

He stopped suddenly.

Tony was face down on the floor, a cut on his head oozing blood lazily, starting a tiny puddle nearby. Thor was kneeling beside him, his fingers against Tony's neck.

Loki knew searching for a pulse was a waste of time- the blood wasn't quite coming out in bursts (that was _good_) but bandaging the cut was more important right now. Tony was alive, Loki could see his back expanding and contracting with each breath he took.

But… there was so much blood.

"Thor…"

"I don't know what to do, Loki," Thor said, looking up at him.

He started shaking, and he felt Clint at his back, his hand on his shoulder. "I-" He bit his lip, swallowed hard, and felt the memories start to flood back. Loki fought to keep his eyes open and turned away from Tony to catch Bruce's eye.

"First Aid kit. Do you have gauze and wraps, alcohol, and pads?"

Bruce shook his head. "I don't even have a first aid kit."

Loki fished his keys out of his pocket. "Under the sink in the bathroom," he said, throwing his key to Bruce. "Just grab the whole thing."

"I have a pad," Natasha said, and reached in her purse for one. "I mean, I'm sure it's not what you meant, but-"

"It'll do," Loki said, and she gave it to him. He wiped at his forehead and went to kneel next to Tony's head. He looked back at Clint. "Call an ambulance," he said, and opened the pad and placed it on the cut. "Thor, check the countertops, see if there is blood anywhere. I'm sincerely hoping that he cut his head on the way down and that it wasn't an attack."

Then, Tony started to groan, and tried to lift himself up. Loki put his hand gently on his back and said, "Don't try to get up too fast. Take your time, or you'll get dizzy and throw up. I _won't _forgive you if you throw up on me." Tony nodded slowly and Loki let him wake up a bit more before letting his hand slide off Tony's back. He got Thor and Clint to help Tony up.

"There's blood on the counter right behind you, Loki," Thor said, looking up. Loki took a quick glance and noted it. Then, he turned back to Tony, and held the man's chin.

"Keep your eyes open," he said. Loki stared hard at him and checked for a concussion. He seemed fine, like he just knocked himself out with the fall.

Tony narrowed his eyes after a moment. "L'ki?"

Loki smelled the alcohol on Tony's breath and groaned. Where was Steve?

Tony lifted his arm and slung it against Loki's shoulder. "I… _hate_… you." Loki guessed that Tony had just tried to hit him, and shook his head. He resisted the urge to check the bleeding under the pad. Bruce replaced Clint and handed Loki the kit. Loki pulled out another gauze pad out and quickly replaced the two. He threw the bloody pad into the sink and put one more layer of gauze in-between his hand and the cut on Tony's head.

Tony tried to hit him again. "I _hate_ you."

"You're drunk," Loki said, and started to wrap the gauze. He could hear the ambulance siren.

"He _doesn't_ hurt me," Tony said. His voice wasn't slurring anymore, but he still couldn't seem to properly focus on one thing.

Loki scoffed. "Then what's this, then?"

"He had something come up. I came back here and drank. Then I fell. Now you're here and I _hate_ you."

"I hate you, too. You make me worry," Loki whispered.

Tony stared at him and gave a smirk. "Does this mean you've reneged on your promise to stop helping me, again?"

"Don't make me _give you_ a concussion. Stop swaying."

"I'm not!"

"Thor, please, hold him straight," Loki said. He heard Natasha in the living room telling the paramedics where Tony was. Loki was almost glad that he hadn't used his last roll of bandages- he'd still be rolling it out if he'd started. Bruce stood up and stepped back, and someone came and took Thor's place.

"Come on, Loki. You've done enough," Thor said. A paramedic was already kneeling next to him, gently invading his space.

"You did well, kid. Let me take it from here," he said, and Loki let Thor help him up.

They went and sat in the living room with Clint, Natasha, and Bruce. Thor made sure Loki was sitting down, and then went back to the kitchen. Loki heard his brother talking to the paramedics, and his heart was finally slowing down.

He watched as the other three in the room looked up, slightly confused. He, then, looked up and saw one of the medics- a young woman with brown hair and kind eyes- sit next to him.

"Your brother tells me you need a little bit of a check-up yourself," she said. She reached for his wrist and checked his pulse, and nodded after ten seconds. She then placed a hand on his back and the other on his chest and told him to take a deep breath.

"Really, I'm fine," Loki said.

"You almost slipped into another flashback, Loki," Thor muttered behind him. "I saw you fight it. I'd feel better if I knew for sure that you were all right."

The woman nodded. "His pulse and breathing are fine. His skin's a little clammy, but I'm sure that's just from seeing all the blood." She stood up, and he heard footsteps come into the living room.

"He'll be fine. Still a little drunk, and he needs to be kept awake for a little while longer- I'd say two hours should be enough," one of the guys said. Loki watched, from the corner of his eye, Tony walk around the couch and sit on the other side. Bruce was in the chair and Clint and Natasha were stretched out on the floor.

The other paramedic clapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Nice job, though, with the gauze. You gave him a better chance than if no one did anything," he said. Loki bit his lip and tipped his head back against the couch. His head was starting to hurt a little, and he was cold.

Thor was still standing behind him, and the paramedics packed up and left. Everyone was quiet for a little while, and then he shivered and groaned. "Thor, I'm going home," he said, and stood up. He walked around the side of the couch, and barely passed his brother when his legs collapsed under him. Thor caught him while Natasha gasped. Clint and Bruce stood up, and the world started spinning.

"I've got you," Thor muttered, and pulled his arm over his shoulder.

"Stay here," Bruce said. "Loki, you shouldn't be moving. The paramedics said you probably had a minor case of shock; you need to lay down."

Loki shook his head. No, he couldn't stay here, not with all of them in the room, and definitely not with Tony around. But Thor was already leading him back to the couch, and he got another look at Tony.

He could feel himself start to slip again. Loki saw Tony- laying face down on the kitchen floor and the blood and he walked in _just like he did when she was dead_.

Loki shut his eyes tight. "Thor, make it stop," he whispered. Thor always made them stop. His brother looked out for him.

"What's wrong with him?" Clint? Was that right?

"Loki, listen to me, lock in to my voice." Loki shivered again. He felt Thor's hands on his face, and he reached to cover one hand with his own.

But then _He's_ there, and the voices in his head were saying something so similar.

"_Loki, listen to me! You have to run, now!"_

He felt the chills again.

"Count with me, Loki."

He let out a quick laugh. "Not going to work, Thor, just let me thrash."

"I'm not going to let him take you from me. Five."

He took a deep breath and repeated after Thor. "Five."

"Good. Four."

"Four."

"Three."

"Three- Oh, God," Loki's stomach lurched. He could still hear the first shot. "It's not working."

"When we reach one, he'll be gone, Loki, just lock in here. _Three_."

"Thor…"

"Three, Loki!"

"Three."

"Two."

Loki was watching the blood pool around her head. Around Tony's head.

Laufey was standing behind her, holding the gun to her head. Loki stood in the doorway to the kitchen. They locked eyes.

Two more shots.

"_Two!_"

Blood splattered across the floor, on the cabinets, oh God it was _everywhere._

Steve was kneeling at Tony's side, looking up at him. "What happened?" He was frantic.

Loki felt his face getting wetter.

"You did this."

"_Loki! Snap out of it!"_

Steve became Laufey, holding a gun up to him. Loki backed up, looked down at Tony, looked up and it was Steve, down and it was Mom, and then _pain_ ripped through his shoulder.

He passed out.

* * *

Steve and Tony walked ahead, leading the group back to the apartments. Clint and Natasha had just finished their last test, and everyone was ready to collapse.

Loki had been feeling close to collapsing all day.

He stayed close to Thor, near the back of the group, and watched Steve and Tony walk in time with each other. Steve's arm was around Tony's waist, and Tony's was around Steve. They seemed happy.

Loki knew they weren't.

He still hadn't told Tony that he was the trigger, and he couldn't keep himself from wanting to help when Steve ruined him. He wouldn't tell Tony, ever, if he could help it, and Tony had stopped calling him for help.

But, they had made small talk, occasionally, when their study times had overlapped. He found out that Tony had, after his flashback in his living room, done some research on emotional and sexual abuse in a relationship. Tony had even _almost_ apologized for dragging Loki into something that reminded him of what happened.

Loki didn't admit that it wasn't just the memories.

"Do you want to hang around for pizza, or are you going to go home?"

He looked over at Thor. His brother had become an almost constant presence in the last week, only leaving him alone to take his tests and when he knew that someone else was with him. Thor had even pulled his mattress into Loki's bedroom.

(Loki was, secretly, grateful for that. He didn't make it through the first night without a nightmare which, when he woke, turned into a blackout. He came to with the pain in his shoulder and Thor holding him down against his bed.)

"I think I'll go home. I'll be fine, though, really," he said, quickly, seeing the determination on Thor's face rise up. "I was just going to finish that movie we'd been watching. I missed half of it."

Thor's brows set in a hard line, and he frowned. "You're sure?"

Loki nodded. He couldn't be around Tony and Steve (specifically, Steve) more than he needed to. As the rest of the group passed their apartment, Loki went inside, alone.

He fixed himself a sandwich and sat down on the couch. The movie was slow and boring and he was having a hard time staying awake. He really wanted to know how it ended, but he was pretty sure he'd never sit through it again.

His phone pinged from the kitchen. Loki paused the movie and went to get it, and then someone knocked on the front door. He looked between the door and the kitchen, and decided that whoever had sent him a text could wait.

He wished he'd grabbed his phone first.

Loki tried to slam the door, but the man got his foot inside and pushed back. The door swung back open and he ran deeper into the apartment, into his bedroom, and managed to shut and lock that door before the man caught up to him. He heard something break in the living room.

How did he find him?

How did he get out?

Wasn't he supposed to be in prison?

Loki shoved the window open and lifted himself out, but as soon as he'd landed and turned his back away from the building, another man ran up behind him.

A cloth was shoved over his mouth.

His eyes drooped and he went limp.

* * *

_I dumped him._

_Did you get my last text?_

_Are you awake?_

…

"_You've reached the voicemail box of Loki Odinson. Leave a message with your name, the date and time, and a call back number, please."_

…

"_Loki, I'm getting worried. If you don't call or text back in ten minutes, I'm sending Thor over. Oh, it's… 10:15. Ish."_

* * *

He didn't know what day it was, or how long it'd been since Laufey'd taken him. He walked down the warehouse block with blood on his hands, staring straight ahead, and trying to remember what he should do next.

Kill him. Get out. Go home.

He didn't even know where he was; let alone how to get home.

His clothes were stiff and dirty, the occasional spot caked with blood- his or Laufey's, he's not sure anymore.

He wiped his hands on his pants. He was never going to get the smell out. There was going to be a fire when he was home, and he was going to burn these clothes.

The warehouses stopped. Across the street, a small coffee shop promised someone with a phone. A phone would get him Thor. Thor would get him home.

He crossed the street. The barista at the counter recognized him from a missing person's report she'd seen at the post office. She let him use her phone to call for Thor while she fixed him a drink.

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ri-_

"Hello?"

Loki bit his lip. "Thor?"

* * *

Tony sat on one side of the couch, Thor on the other. Bruce was in a chair, Jane in another. Clint and Natasha were on the floor. Steve stood in the doorway.

Loki had laid his head in Tony's lap. It was unintentional- he'd fallen that way when he fell asleep. He'd woken up to Tony carding his fingers through his hair and been met with a smirk. Loki never asked why he and Steve broke up, but they were back to being "just friends" now.

Tony draped his other arm over Loki's side. He felt Tony's fingers drift down to his waist.

He shifted a little closer to Tony.

He knew that everyone looked at him differently, knowing that he killed Laufey with his bare hands.

Tony didn't seem to care. Loki'd been able to sit near Tony and the other man didn't flinch. Tony would grab his hand while they watched a movie, lightly touch his lower back and waist whenever they stood next to each other, and would always sit next to him when the group came over to chat. Tony never raised his voice, and even knew when to lower it.

He did his research. Tony knew how to comfort Loki.

It may have been a force of habit that, once, when he was visiting, he came up behind Loki while he was cooking, and kissed him on the neck and wrapped his arms around Loki's hips. Loki wasn't quite sure where it'd come from, but he wasn't going to complain. It felt… nice.

Different, but nice.

Instead of soft curves and long legs, Loki got taught muscle and strong arms. Instead of a beautiful face and cherry red lips that were always shy when kissing, Loki got a handsome face and slightly chapped lips that knew exactly what to do and how to do it. In addition to being the boyfriend, he had one.

But Tony was safe. Loki knew he could never become the man Laufey had been, or that Steve had almost, unknowingly, become.

Looking back on that Spring Semester, Loki sometimes wished he'd never answered that door the first time Tony knocked. He wished that the three weeks he had been held by Laufey never happened. He wished he hadn't relapsed into flashbacks and blackouts.

But then he'd look over at Tony, curled against his side with his head on his shoulder, and think, _No. _If it hadn't happened, they wouldn't have each other.

* * *

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Um... Well, I'd apologize for hurting people's feelings, but that was sort of the intention. So, no. Can I fish for reviews?


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